All tough guys........but John Wayne and Clint Eastwood have their "make up" people put scars on them. My cousin gets them the old fashioned way.......he "earns" them !!
Tommy Allen (age 50 - holy crap !) decided to play a little hockey with some much younger and swifter players. OOOPSIE. I wasn't there, so I can't give you the exact play by play but I do know it probably would have made the ESPN highlight reel.
Here is my best Chris Berman imitation calling the play.
"Great pass to the veteran Tommy Allen...oooh, what a slip he put on that youngster...
He could....go....alllllllllll....thhhhhe.......waaaaay....to the hospital in an ambulance. Booya !!"
Those Allen boys, I sure do love them. I never did have a brother, so they were the closest thing I had. I spent 3 months a year with them every summer at the ranch. They were usually very nice to me, although I do remember them throwing me into the GROSS horse trough a time or two.
They also let me "drive". I guess they weren't too concerned about me running into anything with eight million acres of nothing extending beyond the horizon. I think they put the pickup into really low gear and let me steer. I didn't know, I thought I was Mario Andretti.
I went out breaking bales with them one day....man, I was a stupid kid. That was the crappiest job on the place except throwing manure...which my beloved Tommy and Denny somehow suckered me into. They set the governor on the tractor (at about .5 miles per hour) and said "just pretend like you are driving to Box Elder". They forgot to tell me that my entire 55 pound body would be COVERED in SHIT by the end of the day. Including in my ears....IN MY EARS.
Grandma Dorothy would hose me off on the back porch. She would strip me down to buck nakedness and "hose me down". And let me just remind you that the water that comes out of the hose on a summer day is quite warm FOR A TOTAL OF FIVE SECONDS. Then, a cold blast of Arctic water follows...and my lips would turn blue.
I hated when I had to beg my mom to "ski just one more run, please Mommy !!" and she would say in her nicest mom voice, "I'm sorry Petsey (that was what she called me when I wasn't in trouble) but your lips are blue, so no more skiing for you today". Uuuugh. What the heck? Trust me, you just don't grasp the entire concept of hypothermia when you are ten years old.
That just got me thinking....I have been called lots of things in my life. For just having ONE given name (a damn ass long one, but one just the same) all my life, I sure have answered to many "handles".
My Grandma Nonie and Grandpa P.D. called me "Lil' P.D." in my youth. Grandma Nonie started calling me "Lady Di" in the early 80's. She thought I resembled Lady Diana Spencer....wow, what a compliment.
I can never remember my Aunt Florence calling me anything but Pete. She "writes" it P.D., but when she speaks...it's Pete.
My Dad has called me both Patrice and P.D. throughout my life. It must be a Poindexter thing, as look at all the "handles" Dad has....Allen, Clifford, C.A., Cliff, and Dad. Uuuuftah, we are a strange breed.
Mom has pretty much called me "PaulKelPeed" most of my life. Mmmmm...wonder where that one came from? I thought that was my real name until I was about six. PaulKelPeed, that is original.
I also thought a cow was a "sunsabitch" until I was about eleven. My Grandpa H.H. and I would go out and "check" the cows after dinner (I never understood what we were "checking for) and invariably the cows would stand in the middle of the road. Grandpa would look at me and say "Look at that big sunsabitch..she has really grown" or "look at that stupid sunsabitch..standing right in road" or "sunsabitches are looking healthy tonight".
I am about peeing my pants right now....laughing. Man, H.H. was funny. Every once and a while I make Kelly or Mom do the imitation of H.H. answering the phone. He always answered exactly the same....at about 55 decibels !!
I do remember the time when all six of grandkids were in the front room watching T.V. (Denny, Tommy, Karen, Polly, Kelly and PD) and Grandpa walked in with a BRAND NEW pair of white Nike tennis shoes. ALL of us kids just busted out laughing, as none of us had ever seen Grandpa in anything other than work boots. Grandpa took those shoes off and put them back in the box....never wore them again. Us kids felt bad, but our reaction to him in WHITE NIKES was just too much to stifle.
When Grandpa died, those Nike's were still in the box in his closet. Grandma Dorothy asked my Dad if they would fit him...and what follows is one of the neatest things my Dad has ever uttered. He said "I can wear them, but I could never fill them"....neat, huh?
Okay, I went from laughing to crying in one paragraph. I need to sign off and take my meds. ; )
Tommy Allen (age 50 - holy crap !) decided to play a little hockey with some much younger and swifter players. OOOPSIE. I wasn't there, so I can't give you the exact play by play but I do know it probably would have made the ESPN highlight reel.
Here is my best Chris Berman imitation calling the play.
"Great pass to the veteran Tommy Allen...oooh, what a slip he put on that youngster...
He could....go....alllllllllll....thhhhhe.......waaaaay....to the hospital in an ambulance. Booya !!"
Those Allen boys, I sure do love them. I never did have a brother, so they were the closest thing I had. I spent 3 months a year with them every summer at the ranch. They were usually very nice to me, although I do remember them throwing me into the GROSS horse trough a time or two.
They also let me "drive". I guess they weren't too concerned about me running into anything with eight million acres of nothing extending beyond the horizon. I think they put the pickup into really low gear and let me steer. I didn't know, I thought I was Mario Andretti.
I went out breaking bales with them one day....man, I was a stupid kid. That was the crappiest job on the place except throwing manure...which my beloved Tommy and Denny somehow suckered me into. They set the governor on the tractor (at about .5 miles per hour) and said "just pretend like you are driving to Box Elder". They forgot to tell me that my entire 55 pound body would be COVERED in SHIT by the end of the day. Including in my ears....IN MY EARS.
Grandma Dorothy would hose me off on the back porch. She would strip me down to buck nakedness and "hose me down". And let me just remind you that the water that comes out of the hose on a summer day is quite warm FOR A TOTAL OF FIVE SECONDS. Then, a cold blast of Arctic water follows...and my lips would turn blue.
I hated when I had to beg my mom to "ski just one more run, please Mommy !!" and she would say in her nicest mom voice, "I'm sorry Petsey (that was what she called me when I wasn't in trouble) but your lips are blue, so no more skiing for you today". Uuuugh. What the heck? Trust me, you just don't grasp the entire concept of hypothermia when you are ten years old.
That just got me thinking....I have been called lots of things in my life. For just having ONE given name (a damn ass long one, but one just the same) all my life, I sure have answered to many "handles".
My Grandma Nonie and Grandpa P.D. called me "Lil' P.D." in my youth. Grandma Nonie started calling me "Lady Di" in the early 80's. She thought I resembled Lady Diana Spencer....wow, what a compliment.
I can never remember my Aunt Florence calling me anything but Pete. She "writes" it P.D., but when she speaks...it's Pete.
My Dad has called me both Patrice and P.D. throughout my life. It must be a Poindexter thing, as look at all the "handles" Dad has....Allen, Clifford, C.A., Cliff, and Dad. Uuuuftah, we are a strange breed.
Mom has pretty much called me "PaulKelPeed" most of my life. Mmmmm...wonder where that one came from? I thought that was my real name until I was about six. PaulKelPeed, that is original.
I also thought a cow was a "sunsabitch" until I was about eleven. My Grandpa H.H. and I would go out and "check" the cows after dinner (I never understood what we were "checking for) and invariably the cows would stand in the middle of the road. Grandpa would look at me and say "Look at that big sunsabitch..she has really grown" or "look at that stupid sunsabitch..standing right in road" or "sunsabitches are looking healthy tonight".
I am about peeing my pants right now....laughing. Man, H.H. was funny. Every once and a while I make Kelly or Mom do the imitation of H.H. answering the phone. He always answered exactly the same....at about 55 decibels !!
I do remember the time when all six of grandkids were in the front room watching T.V. (Denny, Tommy, Karen, Polly, Kelly and PD) and Grandpa walked in with a BRAND NEW pair of white Nike tennis shoes. ALL of us kids just busted out laughing, as none of us had ever seen Grandpa in anything other than work boots. Grandpa took those shoes off and put them back in the box....never wore them again. Us kids felt bad, but our reaction to him in WHITE NIKES was just too much to stifle.
When Grandpa died, those Nike's were still in the box in his closet. Grandma Dorothy asked my Dad if they would fit him...and what follows is one of the neatest things my Dad has ever uttered. He said "I can wear them, but I could never fill them"....neat, huh?
Okay, I went from laughing to crying in one paragraph. I need to sign off and take my meds. ; )
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